The following is taken from a email from Preaching.com. For you guys in leadership:
As you look ahead to the fall and possible administrative changes, feel free to consult this handy church leadership guide, with helpful job descriptions:
SENIOR PASTOR:
Leaps tall building in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Discusses policy with God
EXECUTIVE PASTOR:
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks with God
ASSOCIATE PASTOR:
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if special request is approved
MINISTER OF MUSIC:
Barely clears a Quonset hut
Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by God
CHRISTIAN ED DIRECTOR:
Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings
Is run over by locomotive
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Dog paddles
Talks to animals
YOUTH MINISTER:
Runs into buildings
Recognizes locomotive two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can't stay afloat with a life preserver
Talks to walls
CHURCH SECRETARY:
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the tracks
Catches speeding bullets in her teeth
Freezes water with a single glance
Is the closest being to God
Michael Duduit, Editor
michael@preaching.com
www.michaelduduit.com
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"Any fine morning, a power saw can fell a tree that took a thousand years to grow." -- Edwin Teale
Daygon ta si Jesus Ginoo!
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